Seventeen

This week marked the seventeenth birthday of our beautiful daughter Emily. I could swear that she just took her first steps a week ago yesterday...but I guess I'd be wrong. I try to put a humorous touch on all that I blog but today I am feeling very emotional.

Children are truly a blessing. Sadly, the stresses of everyday life sometime overshadow the truly important moments. I love my three girls...and on Emily's seventeenth birthday, I think it is a good time to offer a few apologies.

Dear Emily,
When you were just a baby, I was very upset that I never got more than four hours of sleep at a time. I should have been grateful that you had a healthy appetite and healthy lungs...too many parents wait for the day that an unhealthy baby can be taken home to eat on its own...and they long to hear a cry that says "I'm hungry"...instead of a whimper that says "I'm sick".

When you were a toddler, I yelled at you for writing over yourself with permanent marker. I should have been watching you with great care instead of doing housework. I should have taken the time to colour with you and forget about the chores of the day. I should have been squishing playdoh through my fingers and making macaroni picture frames instead of macaroni casserole.

From the age of four to twelve, I am sorry I didn't pay attention to you more. Being so busy with Rachel and then Colleen, the years slipped by. I know you played soccer, took swimming lessons, ran cross-country, took dance classes, tried gymnastics, had numerous sleepovers and got straight A's in school. All the sudden you were at your grade six graduation ceremony and I realized you were growing up.

When you were twelve, we moved you away from all your friends and you had to start junior high school without knowing a single person. I cried when I watched you stand by yourself in a crowd of kids already huddled together in little groups. If I haven't told you before, you amazed me with your confidence. I may have been critical of your choice in friends, but I should have been happy that you weren't sitting alone in your room without anyone to share your secrets with.

When you were fourteen, I am sorry I wasn't more available to you. Your Grampy was sick and I forgot about your needs. The things you did were cries for attention. I should have hugged you more and punished you less. Losing someone you love is difficult. I am lucky I didn't lose you.

When you were sixteen, I wish I had lent you my ear more. Your heart was breaking over a boy. I should have hated him, too. I hate him now, if that helps. And I love you more.

Now you are seventeen. The last few weeks have had lots of ups and downs. I have not handled my emotions very well. So this is my apology. You are important. You make me proud in so many ways. I believe in you and know you will make a difference in this world. You are a loving sister and a trusted friend to so many.

Think of the one thing you love the most and then multiply it by a million. That is almost half as much as I love you and your sisters. I hope you will know that kind of love in your future.

Be happy. Be yourself. Be patient. Be kind. Be willing to take chances. And always know you are loved.

Happy birthday, Emily.